Why Artemis Is The Best Baby Ever: Episode 1

It takes a lot of different points of excellence in order to be the best baby ever. Happily, Artemis is best in category pretty much across the board. Today we'll look at one of the most underrated baby qualities: personal style.

Even at her young age of 5 months (today), Artemis is a purposefully stylish young lady. Take, for example, her fingernails. While she is not able to clip them herself, anytime they need care she lets us know - typically by raking them across my face. Now that's a concientious baby!

Next, her hair. Reminiscent of Sinead O'Connor and Annie Lennox, Artemis prefers to keep her hair short. Even without scissors, she maintains her look by strategically rubbing her head against a pillow or blanket, removing unnecessary locks. Her innovative hair care method makes her one of the most intentionally stylish babies around!

Artemis also extends some selectivity to her wardrobe. While she is still too young to pick her own clothing, she does exert influence through negative selection. That is, when she is dressed in an outfit she doesn't like, she encourages us to change it. For tops, she generally spits up. For bottoms and one-pieces she angles her diaper so as to, uh, mark the clothing to be changed immediately.

It should be clear that Artemis is a very thoughtful and stylish baby. From her fingernails to her hair to her clothing, she exerts purposeful influence to ensure she always looks her best. These are habits many adults would do well to establish!